Blog #34 – DEFUSING CONFLICT
Many times in our life, we encounter confrontational situations in which we have an obligation to defuse certain conflicts between people. As a teacher, these situations occur with students, parents, administrators or other teachers. Parents usually encounter this with their children. The primary thing that you need to focus on is keeping the situation from escalating. Talk in a calm voice and try to inquire what is bothering them. If they are angry, efforts need to be made to calm them down. Listen to what they have to say. Make sure that they are aware that what they have to say is important to you. You must also make them aware that they should reciprocate by listening to you. If there are multiple issues that are being presented, focus on one issue at a time. Work together to resolve each issue. Make sure that your facial expressions and body language are not escalating the situation. Work at providing the other individual with information that you feel will help in the resolution of whatever conflict they are feeling. Be aware that if you are engaging in an argument, it may be possible that you are wrong. If that is the case, be prepared to admit that you are wrong.
In a situation where the conflict is between a teacher and a student or a parent and a child, it is important that the adult does not use their position of authority to win an argument. It is important that the student or child knows that you treat them as an equal. You also need to treat the other individual with respect. In all instances of defusing conflict, the objective is be calm, and to work at getting the other person to also be calm. Raising your voice will not help win any argument. Think carefully about what you say as words can be very hurtful. If they hurt you with what they say, you must avoid hurting them in retaliation. Keep in mind that your behavior in resolving conflict is something that will influence others. You should model how to resolve conflict in a positive way. This will have a great impact on students and children.