Blog #76 – FORGIVE AND FORGET
Something that is very important to me is the ability of an individual being able to forgive and forget. It is an attribute that I possess and has impacted my life and career in a positive way. Too many people go through life holding on to grudges. Their inability to let go of hurtful words or actions creates a burden that makes it difficult for them to enjoy life.
As a mathematics teacher and coach, there were many times that a student’s words or actions seemed unforgiveable at the moment, but as I assessed the situation, it was obvious that for me to be happy, I needed to forgive. I remember a particular student that was obsessed about making perfect scores on his homework and assessments. Several times a week, he would aggressively fight for any points that were deducted from his paper. I had numerous parent conferences in which his mom attacked my professionalism. I remember dreading going to school because I knew that this particular student would argue with me to the point that I became upset. I never got angry, but it bothered me that he was getting into arguments with me about his grades. Later in the year he asked me to write him a letter of recommendation. I focused on all of his excellent qualities. I disregarded his obsession with perfect scores. After reading my letter, he became a model student. He was accepted to Stanford University, where he succeeded. This is one of many incidents in which me forgiving and forgetting changed the relationship between a student and me in a positive way.
In my lifetime, I have had few situations where I have had to forgive and forget. My ability to put myself in someone else’s shoes has helped me diffuse confrontations. In fact, I think that I have spent more time helping others forgive and forget. Through discussions, I try and explain that there is no need to be burdened by anger or resentment. I make them understand that some things are said or done in the heat of the moment. They need to assess how important being angry is to their outlook in life. Soon they realize that feeling angry hurts their quality of life. I know that I have maintained great personal relationships with family and friends because I respect the opinions of others.