Blog #33 – REDUCING STRESS ON CHILDREN CREATED BY PARENTS
Many times teachers and academic coaches see the need to counsel parents to ensure that they are not placing undue stress on their children. Of course, many parents want their children to succeed in whatever they do. What success means to parents may differ, but many want their children to excel in their performances in either the classroom or at an academic event. In the classroom, many parents expect their children to earn straight A’s. At academic contests, they expect them to win first place. These lofty goals place a lot of pressure on the children. Their children become more focused on pleasing their parents than enjoying what they are doing.
During my teaching and coaching career, I often made an effort to communicate with the parents (in person, by email, by talking on the telephone, etc.) to make them aware of two simple rules that I applied with my students and my own children. In general, I expect them to enjoy what they were doing and I made them aware that I wanted them to simply try to do their best. Parents need to believe in these simple rules. It is interesting to note that students that enjoy what they are doing and are trying their best tend to be more successful than those that are being pressured by their parents or those that have lofty goals artificially set by the parents.
Children that follow these rules that I have recommended tend to always be much more happy. They learn to measure success based on those two rules, which are to enjoy what you are doing and always do your utmost best. These rules gradually become an integral part of their lives. I always stressed these rules to my students and my children. I reminded them about those rules periodically. I would encourage teachers and coaches to write a brief letter to parents making them aware of those two rules, and make parents aware that you are willing to discuss these with them at any time. I believe that parents appreciate that I am teaching and will always teach students life long lessons, and that I will work diligently to ensure that their children are both happy and successful.